I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
