You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
it hurts more in the daytime
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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