if i can run in heels then i can drive
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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