Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
This house was built for laser tag.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
