I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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