Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
