just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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