She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
