Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
