Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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