thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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