the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
