Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
