I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think your dad took our porno
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
