i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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