Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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