too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
