I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
