I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
