I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
