So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
