I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
