Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
