my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
