I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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