we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
