Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
