Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
