the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
