I bet he comes in French.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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