The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize