we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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