i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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