the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We need to get me chipped asap
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
