i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
