is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
