I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Can you bring me the toilet please
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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