I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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