im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize