The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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