just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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