It's Friday. Sex?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
