theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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