I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
