And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
