It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
