Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They took my balls.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
