Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
