C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
