Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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