I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
