God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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