She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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