You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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