I'm drive I can fine osifer
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
