I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
