i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
