FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
