Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
