I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
