In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it's not cheating when I paid for it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
