i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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