i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
