so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize