I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
