Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
