I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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