There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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