i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm really busy with my period
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