you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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