My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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