and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
