You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
