How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
